Dry January? More Like Why January: Getting Real About Intentional Choices

Are you doing Dry January because you want to or because society made you feel bad about that second bottle of champagne on New Year’s Eve? No judgment, babe. This episode is all about unpacking the why behind the choices we make. We’re talking habits (hello, Netflix binges), coping mechanisms, and the pressures of motherhood, religion, and guilt. Spoiler: it’s not about giving things up—it’s about showing up for yourself. We’ll chat intention, self-reflection, and finding balance without the BS. Pour yourself some prosecco (or sparkling water -- we don't judge, either way) and let's get into it!

Want more like this episode? Connect with us on Instagram: @chelseapatricia and @katarisefitness for exclusive content, rants, and tips to live your best life!"

Timestamps:

• Chapters & Timestamps
  1. [00:00:00] Cheers to Starting Fresh
     • Introduction, greetings, and setting the tone with bubbly in hand.
  2. [00:00:08] Dry January: A Love-Hate Relationship
     • Why January is the worst month for giving up alcohol.
     • Navigating the societal pressure of 'Dry January' and whether it's truly for you.
  3. [00:00:48] Intention Is Everything
     • The importance of understanding the "why" behind your actions.
     • Examining whether habits like drinking, binge-watching, or snacking serve as coping mechanisms or intentional choices.
  4. [00:02:44] Coping Mechanisms: A Reality Check
     • Kat shares actionable journaling tips for self-reflection.
     • How guilt compounds when we avoid addressing our feelings.
  5. [00:05:55] Breaking Free from Guilt & Expectations
     • Debunking societal and religious guilt trips around self-care, fun, and drinking.
     • Giving yourself permission to enjoy life—without the guilt.
  6. [00:08:05] Balancing Motherhood and Your Identity
     • The unspoken pressures on moms to prioritize kids over themselves.
     • Why nurturing your own identity is essential for raising happy, well-rounded kids.

 Welcome to Prosecco on the Bathroom Floor. We're Chelsea and Kat, two women who also happen to be business owners and moms. If you've ever had a moment where it feels like one big, chaotic mess, you're in the right place. 

This is a party where we spill the tea, own the chaos, and remind you to never apologize for taking up space. One glass of bubbly at a time. So grab your Prosecco or whatever's in your cup and let's get into i

  📍  

Thanks for tuning in to Prosecco on the Bathroom Floor, but don't stop here. This is just one glass in the bottle. Each episode builds on the last, so keep listening to follow the full conversation. If our chat today hit the spot for you, share it with a friend, and catch us on all the platforms at KatAriseFitness  and at Chelsea Patricia.

Until next time, remember, own your chaos, take up space, and never apologize for being you.   

Chapters

• 0:00 Cheers to Starting Fresh
• 0:34 Dry January: A Love-Hate Relationship
• 1:14 Intention Is Everything
• 3:10 Coping Mechanisms: A Reality Check
• 6:21 Breaking Free from Guilt & Expectations
• 8:31 Balancing Motherhood and Your Identity

Transcript

Chelsea + Kat_#1

[00:00:00] 

[00:00:00] Introduction and Greetings

[00:00:00] Kat: Okay. 

[00:00:01] Chelsea: Cheers. Cheers. 

[00:00:04] Kat: Delicious. 

[00:00:05] Chelsea: My favorite. Okay. 

[00:00:08] Discussing Dry January

[00:00:08] Chelsea: Speaking up, I do not know how people do dry January or why. How or why? 

[00:00:14] Kat: Especially when it's January and I hate January. 

[00:00:19] Chelsea: Especially January. 

[00:00:20] Kat: It is cold. Cloudy. Rainy. Wet. Gross. Yes. Cold. We're stuck inside with kids. And cold. Mm hmm. Yeah. Why would you do that to yourself?

[00:00:29] Chelsea: Not my favorite. And also, yeah, so with all the weather delays and stuff, they're cancelling school, which I don't have young kids anymore, but you do. Mm hmm. And so you're at home all the time. Here's the thing with that, like, yes, if you use alcohol as a coping mechanism all the time, not great. 

[00:00:45] Kat: Absolutely.

[00:00:45] Kat: Not healthy, 

[00:00:46] Chelsea: right? Everything in moderation. 

[00:00:47] Kat: Absolutely. 

[00:00:48] Intention Behind Actions

[00:00:48] Chelsea: But, when it comes down to it, like it's the little things that give you joy in life, and if alcohol and moderation is a little treat for yourself, why are you depriving yourself? 

[00:00:58] Kat: Right. I think one of the things [00:01:00] I've always done is ask myself, why am I drinking this?

[00:01:03] Kat: And if I'm using it as a coping mechanism, then I stop myself. That could be with anything, Chelsea. That could be with food, too. Why am I eating this? Why am I eating this bag of chips? If the answer is, okay, I'm trying to cope with some stress in my life, then I need to find a better coping mechanism.

[00:01:18] Chelsea: When you sit down and you binge watch 3 hours of Real Housewives, why are you sitting down and binge watching 3 hours of Housewives? What do you really need to address in your life? 

[00:01:28] Chelsea: Now, if it is a matter of, you know what, I never sit down, I never watch TV, I'm always working, I don't have the kids today, I'm going to take some time for myself, and I'm intentionally Going to sit down and watch three hours of Housewives.

[00:01:41] Chelsea: Absolutely. That is the same action. What is the ultimate truth? So there can be things that are facts, but intention is what makes it matter one way or the other. So the fact is You're sitting down and eating potato chips. The fact is, you're watching 3 [00:02:00] Hours of Housewives.

[00:02:00] Chelsea: Or the fact is, you're pouring yourself a glass of prosecco at 3 o'clock in the afternoon. Those are just facts. Those are things that are happening. What matters is the intention behind why those things are happening. 

[00:02:14] Kat: I love that. Absolutely. 

[00:02:15] Chelsea: So, am I choosing to give myself a little treat? Am I choosing to take time to myself to relax and veg out?

[00:02:24] Chelsea: Or, am I either consciously or unconsciously choosing to escape from my reality? 

[00:02:31] Kat: Yes. 

[00:02:32] Chelsea: Choosing to disconnect from my purpose. Choosing to not deal with something in my life. Yes. 

[00:02:38] Kat: Think that you're choosing so you don't have to deal with those things. That's a crutch. It's not actually going to solve the problem.

[00:02:44] Coping Mechanisms and Self-Reflection

[00:02:44] Kat: This is what I talk about with my clients a lot. They'll say, well, Kat, you know, I wound up and I binged this day. And I say, well, did you stop and think why you were doing it? Well, no. Okay. The next time that happens before you. Nosedive into a bag of chips or gallon of [00:03:00] ice cream. I want you to take out your journal write down What am I feeling right now?

[00:03:04] Kat: What happened today that makes me feel like I do now whether it's stressed angry hurt tired frustrated emotional write those things down So, before you dive into that, figure out what the deal is, why you're doing that, and like you said, be intentional about dealing with the things in your life that you need to deal with.

[00:03:21] Kat: Because diving into the bottle of alcohol, the chips, constantly emotional eating, that is not going to solve your problems. In fact, it's going to make it worse, because it's going to compound that guilt on top of what you're already feeling. 

[00:03:33] Chelsea: And that's the thing, I think the reason you feel guilt Surrounding those things is because you know it's not that you're not supposed to be doing it But you know that there's something that you're not dealing with.

[00:03:45] Kat: Yes 

[00:03:46] Chelsea: So yes, if you intend to drink a glass of prosecco at 3 o'clock in the afternoon because you said I deserve this There's nothing I'm trying to escape. There's nothing I'm trying to avoid dealing with I simply want a little treat for [00:04:00] myself 

[00:04:01] Kat: Then you 

[00:04:01] Chelsea: don't feel guilt After that glass of Prosecco, right?

[00:04:04] Chelsea: You feel guilt after the glass of Prosecco because that was a stand in 

[00:04:10] Kat: for 

[00:04:10] Chelsea: something you should have been addressing, right? Within yourself, right? You said this before in several of our videos we've done, and it sticks with me. It's the choices you aren't making are a choice. Whether 

[00:04:24] Kat: you know it or 

[00:04:25] Chelsea: not, or realize it or not, absolutely.

[00:04:27] Chelsea: So like when you're not taking an active role, and making a choice, you're still making a choice. Or like within manifesting, you are always manifesting good or bad in your life, whether you're intending to or not. So the shift is to make it intentional. The shift is to think about why your reason deal with it and make it intentional.

[00:04:55] Kat: And the reason so many of us are intentional about these things is because [00:05:00] it's work. It's hard work to retrain your mind, to set your focus on things that I mean, I've caught myself lately just calling my mom just to complain about something that happened, like, why am I even focusing on that? But it's harder to shift your mindset and focus on the good and retrain your mind than it is to just focus on the negative.

[00:05:28] Kat: So that's why so many of us don't do that. What you're talking about is because it's just easier not to. 

[00:05:32] Chelsea: And here's the thing. It is. It is. On the forefront and when you look at it briefly, easier, 

[00:05:38] Kat: right? Easier to not 

[00:05:39] Chelsea: dive in. Oh, I don't want to get out my journal. I don't want to feel big feelings. I don't want to feel vulnerable.

[00:05:46] Chelsea: But when you look at the price you pay down the line. Yes. When you keep going and you keep going and you keep pushing it further away. 

[00:05:55] Guilt and Societal Expectations

[00:05:55] Chelsea: I mean, maybe that's why a lot of people feel like they need dry [00:06:00] January. Because they know they can't keep going on like this. 

[00:06:04] Kat: Mm hmm. 

[00:06:05] Chelsea: And they're feeling guilt over all the emotions that they've been avoiding.

[00:06:09] Kat: Avoiding. And 

[00:06:09] Chelsea: substituting alcohol with. Mm 

[00:06:11] Kat: hmm. 

[00:06:12] Chelsea: And so, doing a dry January makes you feel like you're in control. But here's the problem with that. You do a dry January, but you still didn't address why you were drinking in the first place. You just didn't drink. You literally just didn't drink. Right. You still didn't change.

[00:06:26] Chelsea: Your body went a month without any alcohol in it, which is probably a great reset for your body, but your mind is still where it was when you started. Absolutely. Unless that dry January is accompanied by, I'm going dry intentionally so that in the times when I would have. A glass or two, I am going to do intentional work on myself internally so I no longer need the glass and I can choose the glass.

[00:06:52] Kat: Yes. The other thing about it is you're continuing to train your mind that it's bad. We talk a lot about good and bad food [00:07:00] dichotomy. This is good, this is bad, this is good, this is bad. That leads to a horrible relationship with food. I've been there. That leads to the guilt cycle. Mm hmm, you know, so you're continuing to train yourself that Oh December I had what do we say too much fun, you know had too much fun and I was a bad girl 

[00:07:15] Chelsea: And that's the thing is like too much fun.

[00:07:17] Chelsea: Okay with the caveat I will just say this so that no one comes at us in the comments, right as long as you are not hurting anyone as long as you are Emotionally not being toxic towards anyone You're not harming any individual, then there is no such thing as too much fun, because did you have fun? If you literally did have fun, that is great for your mental health.

[00:07:43] Chelsea: Now, of course, again, be conscious and intentional. If after a night out of drinking, you go, oh, I had too much fun. Why? Why do you think that? Are you experiencing guilt over it? Why? Are you experiencing guilt because society says you're not allowed to go out and drink? Are you [00:08:00] experiencing guilt because you went out drinking instead of doing the inner work that you're avoiding?

[00:08:04] Chelsea: Right. 

[00:08:05] Balancing Motherhood and Personal Fulfillment

[00:08:05] Kat: I think the other thing with moms, we feel like we can't have any fun. We feel guilty for having fun away from our children. But that's all societal. It absolutely is. 

[00:08:14] Chelsea: It's all societal. It starts in sorry guys, religion really teaches this, not in so many words. For the most part, you're not going to walk into a church and hear a sermon that says, Moms aren't allowed to have fun.

[00:08:26] Chelsea: Right? It's more of this unspoken. Moms are expected to be there for their children at all times. And moms are expected to give their lives of service. And here's the thing, guys. We as moms can't be of service if we are unhappy. 

[00:08:44] Kat: Absolutely. 

[00:08:45] Chelsea: It is the worst thing for our children. I can't think of a lot of things worse other than like direct.

[00:08:53] Chelsea: Right. That are worse for our children to see than us living unhappy existences because to [00:09:00] them that becomes their normal and then they expect that that's all that they can look forward to in their lives. Right. And we taught them that. 

[00:09:06] Kat: Exactly. Exactly. And it's 

[00:09:08] Chelsea: really sad because our intention is for them to have better lives than we even have.

[00:09:14] Chelsea: Our intention is to teach them that they are worthy and they are good and they are worth all these good things. But we. Unintentionally, because we're not thinking about it, we're not examining how we're feeling and what we're putting out. Yeah, 

[00:09:25] Kat: because how do we teach them that if we don't even feel that about ourselves?

[00:09:28] Chelsea: I mean, you can know it all you want in your conscious mind, that, yes, my kids are worthy, they're special, they're beautiful, they can do anything in this world. But, subconsciously, inside, we're going, Well, I'm not worth that. I'm not special enough for that. If you only exist for your kids, then your kids are going to think, well, pretty much that's a lot of pressure for them.

[00:09:48] Chelsea: They're going to see that you only exist for them, and then they can never live up to that expectation. The example that you're setting for them, that the world revolves around them. It doesn't. That's what I always think about. I mean, I've looked at my children and [00:10:00] said, Jericho, the world does not revolve around you.

[00:10:03] Kat: I am helping your sister right now. And loving you in a different way by cooking you dinner. I might not be holding you, but I'm cooking you dinner. You know, teaching your kids that the world doesn't revolve around them. Teaching your kids that you can be a mom, but also have a career. You can also have things that you enjoy.

[00:10:19] Kat: I mean, I would go crazy if all I ever did, I mean, and I love my kids. But, if all I ever did was take care of them and that was it. I'm just, that's not me. I'm Catherine a mom, but I'm also Catherine, you know, coach cat, you know, I'm Catherine business owner. I'm, you know, I have all these hats and I want to make sure that I nurture every part of who I 

[00:10:39] Chelsea: am.

[00:10:40] Chelsea: I caught you saying something. Why did you feel when you said, so you started saying, if all I had was my children to take care of, I would be. Bored out my mind or I'd be like so miserable, right? You stopped yourself as if you needed to assure everyone that you love your kids for saying that. She's put me on the spot.

[00:10:59] Chelsea: [00:11:00] We as moms don't feel like we can just say our truths. We have to make sure everyone knows we're good moms. When honestly, like, we are all good moms. If you are present with your kids and you love them, you're a good mom. You don't need to assure anyone that you love them in order to be able to say If all I had was my kids, I'd be miserable.

[00:11:20] Chelsea: Right. We don't have to say, I love my kids, you need to know that. Duh, you love your kids. They're your kids. Right. And your mom. You're right. So why are we always explaining? To everyone. To other moms. We do it to other moms. 

[00:11:34] Kat: We always feel like we have to defend ourselves. 

[00:11:36] Chelsea: But like, they're moms too. They freaking know the same thing we know.

[00:11:40] Chelsea: Why did I say that? They're living the same lives. Yeah. They also would be miserable if they had no life of their own. And honestly, you have clients who have been miserable because they weren't living lives of their own. That's why you said this work is hard, right? Because it's little things like that that you don't even realize [00:12:00] you're limiting yourself.

[00:12:00] Chelsea: You say it just because it's habit, because you feel like you need to explain yourself. But if we're working on inner work, then that's something that you can take home and journal about and go. Why do I feel the need to explain myself to people who have nothing to do with me and my family? Why do I feel the need to let people know I love my kids?

[00:12:15] Chelsea: Clearly, I love my kids and they know I love them. Why do I need to explain to anyone else? 

[00:12:19] Kat: I think it's a constant struggle. I still deal with it. Every day, enjoying my career and being a business woman and putting my kids in preschool or full time daycare, I still struggle with some of that guilt.

[00:12:31] Kat: Like, I'm not being their mom because they're in full time preschool and daycare. And I'm working. I should be working. But that's again, that's what society says that as a mom, you should be doing, but if I was with him all the time, we wouldn't have a house. We wouldn't have food to eat, you know, 

[00:12:49] Chelsea: honestly, because okay.

[00:12:50] Societal Norms and Personal Choices

[00:12:50] Chelsea: And there are different personalities, people, right? You and I are very similar in that we find a lot of ourselves and our not our worth because worth [00:13:00] is internal, right? But we find a lot of joy and making things happen. Okay. We find a lot of joy in our careers and affecting change. Our careers give us an opportunity to work with women and make their lives different.

[00:13:13] Chelsea: So for us, having that creative outlet where we are changing people's lives, we are making money for ourselves, we feel like in our power, for us and our personalities, that makes us better moms because it secures us in who we are. And when our cup is full, we can pour into our kids cups. Now, there are women whose personalities, they don't need a career, they don't want to work.

[00:13:39] Chelsea: They love, you know, building a beautiful home. They love cooking meals every meal of the day. And those things are things that fulfill them and allow them to pour from a full cup for their kids. And that's 

[00:13:50] Kat: wonderful. 

[00:13:50] Chelsea: Whatever it is that is the thing that you derive that energy from. Yes. Where you find your joy, where you find what [00:14:00] fills you up so you can give to others, is 100 percent okay because everyone's different.

[00:14:03] Chelsea: If we were all the same, there wouldn't be enough space for us all. 

[00:14:06] Kat: Right. In a boring world. 

[00:14:07] Chelsea: Right. Again, like, society kind of veers towards women should want to build their home up. You know, be homemakers. If that is who you are naturally, then, by God, do it. But if that's not who you are naturally, you do not have to subscribe to that standard.

[00:14:22] Kat: Yeah. And you know, you and I have talked about this a lot. 

[00:14:24] Biblical References and Modern Interpretations

[00:14:24] Kat: I remember this was maybe a year ago in the church and just hearing someone say that, you know, the women are coming back to the home and, and that is your, it should be your number one ministry. And that really bothered me a lot because didn't the Proverbs 31 woman work.

[00:14:40] Kat: She not only worked, she was clever. Yes. She was efficient with her work. Yes, she was. 

[00:14:46] Chelsea: She was so efficient and clever with her work that people were like, wow, look at her go. Look 

[00:14:51] Kat: at her. They were. They were admiring her. 

[00:14:53] Chelsea: In the workplace, not in the home. They didn't come up in her house to study how she cleaned dishes.

[00:14:58] Kat: Right. And I think it [00:15:00] even says in there, I mean, I don't have my phone with me. I can look it up. But. She acquired new fields or new things too. So she was always looking. Investment opportunities. 

[00:15:08] Investment Opportunities and Passive Income

[00:15:08] Chelsea: Investment, right, right. This woman was on the lookout for investment opportunities and she was not asking for permission to make those investments.

[00:15:18] Kat: Didn't say that she was. No, it said the man was like, Oh, she's already invested in multiple areas. She has passive income coming in. I like this woman. And doesn't it the man who finds her? Yeah, that's because he'd be making money. That's right. Dang. Cause she already invested in the multiple fields. She has a multi level marketing business.

[00:15:36] Chelsea: Exactly, right? 

[00:15:38] Balancing Work and Family Life

[00:15:38] Kat: Decembers are always so hard. Christmas time is great, but gosh, December's hard when the kids are out of school so much. And I just find it really, really hard, especially when you're on your own business because you leave a nine to five job with this dream and you wind up working seven days a week, but we love it.

[00:15:52] Kat: Right. 

[00:15:53] Finding Purpose and Energy in Work

[00:15:53] Kat: But I mean, I was just stressed to the max and the first day in January, when the kids were back in their school, I was [00:16:00] reminded of how much energy my work gives me. It gives me life. It gives me energy. It gives me purpose. And I feel so much better. I feel like such a better mom because. I have that aspect of my life back now, where I have that separation, that time to work, do something that I enjoy, do something that gives me purpose, and then I get to love on them and raise them.

[00:16:20] Chelsea: Our careers give us that reset and that recharge. It can be anything that gives you a reset and recharge.

[00:16:26] Chelsea: It could be rock climbing. Maybe you are a mom who loves rock climbing. Yep. And you need to go rock climb every morning after you drop the kids off at work. Good for you, boo! Do it! Freaking rock climb every freaking day! 

[00:16:39] The Importance of Intentional Choices

[00:16:39] Chelsea: All we're saying is, whatever you have been taught and told you need to do, isn't everyone's truth and reality.

[00:16:47] Chelsea: No, absolutely. I think we can live that back to intention, because that's what we started with, right? Mm hmm. So, the idea is, if you are trying To avoid because that's something that you could be doing is you are avoiding [00:17:00] What it is that you actually want because you're afraid of wanting. Yeah So like the mom who feels like she needs to be a stay at home mom, but she really loves working You could be binge watching housewives for three hours Because if you want to work then you're a bad mom and you don't want to deal with working through that.

[00:17:19] Chelsea: Yeah, right so it can be like any number of things but I think the whole idea is, anything that you do, make the actual choice to do it. Absolutely. Yes. Don't let it choose you. Right. Don't let the drinking push you around. Don't let the TV shows tell you what to do. Don't let the bag of chips take control.

[00:17:41] Chelsea: You're in control of everything that you do. Yep. And anything that you chose or failed to choose In the past I also and I want to know your thoughts on this, but I don't believe in regret Oh, no, you just learned from your mistake because here's the thing regret leads to guilt guilt leads to going further down and [00:18:00] deeper into that hole huh.

[00:18:01] Chelsea: So forgiving yourself. We've talked about this before but yeah, I 

[00:18:04] Kat: think I just did a bit posted a video that over there Mm hmm, 

[00:18:07] Chelsea: because the thing is like, okay So in the past you drank without intention in the past you Wasted time on your phone without intention because why dive into that if the why was well I didn't want to think about this thing.

[00:18:24] Chelsea: Okay, we'll think about that thing now change it now Right. Dig in now. The next time you go to drink, ask yourself why you're drinking, 

[00:18:33] Kat: see if 

[00:18:33] Chelsea: you need to journal, or if you can have your drink. 

[00:18:36] Kat: Yep. 

[00:18:36] Chelsea: But like, just now is all we have. Looking at the past and being like, oh I wish I hadn't done that or I wasted so much time is literally helping no one.

[00:18:44] Chelsea: It's not helping you. It's not helping your kids. It's not helping literally anyone in this entire universe. It is worthless. 

[00:18:50] Kat: Yeah, 

[00:18:51] Chelsea: what is helpful is to look at the past learn from the mistakes Move forward making better choices. Yeah with intention. 

[00:18:58] Kat: Yeah, and I think I told you some [00:19:00] other time when we were shooting videos I was going through a really hard time several months ago and I woke up one morning and it was These words in my mind.

[00:19:07] Kat: I heard it almost audibly What I'm not changing, I'm choosing. And that's 

[00:19:12] Chelsea: what I was trying to quote. Yes. That was 

[00:19:13] Kat: the one I was trying to quote. I was trying to quote you. It just hit me. I mean, that was just so, that was extremely powerful for me, but that's the whole intentional thing. Whether, you know, you're doing a lot of things right now.

[00:19:24] Kat: You might be doing a lot of things right now that are completely unintentional in your life that are not helping you change at all. And you are choosing that every single day. And that's why you're not changing. That's why you're stuck. 

[00:19:38] Understanding Manifestation

[00:19:38] 

[00:19:38] Chelsea: Why is it so much easier for men to manifest than women?

[00:19:42] Chelsea: Tell them what you mean by manifest. Okay, so, manifestation, I mean, it's a buzzword now, but basically what it is saying is like, to bring a dream or an inner thought, or desire, to fruition in your life and reality. And this is something that you, if you come from a [00:20:00] religious background, especially Christianity.

[00:20:01] Chelsea: You'll recognize the phrasing. God's word made manifest. So it is another way, like I'm using the term manifestation, would be like medically a disease manifest as certain symptoms, right? Right. So in the same way like that's obviously a negative kind of way of viewing it, but it would be that you create change on the inside which manifests Outwardly, as X, Y, and Z.

[00:20:30] Kat: Okay. 

[00:20:31] Chelsea: So, at a high level, the way a lot of people talk about manifestation is, it feels very woo woo, but it's like you create the life that you want to live. And you call into existence things that don't seem possible. 

[00:20:47] Kat: You speak things into existence. 

[00:20:50] Chelsea: Yes. And so, and, and here's the thing with Zach. I grew up very religious.

[00:20:55] Chelsea: You, you've still been very religious. 

[00:20:58] Women and Power in Religious Contexts

[00:20:58] Chelsea: There are [00:21:00] things within the modern day church and presentation of Christianity that I have had cause to question. Because facts are facts, right? Things exist. However, multiple things can be true at once. So, the scripture can say one thing, and that is what it means, but it is filtered by the reality and experience of every person who hears it.

[00:21:25] Chelsea: The problem with that in a church that is run primarily by men, Is that every piece of scripture is being filtered through the lens of a man and then re presented with his spin on it. Which has led to, not saying all churches, not saying all Christianity, but it has led to a lot of male dominated, male driven churches and communities.

[00:21:56] Chelsea: I 

[00:21:56] Kat: mean, we just talked about this earlier that, you know, women coming back to the [00:22:00] home, a pastor saying that, and that should be your ministry, and, right? 

[00:22:04] Chelsea: Okay, and what is a man's ministry? Right. And also, like, no one, and this has been across Scripture, like, if you read Scripture for yourself, instead of just trusting what comes from the pulpit.

[00:22:16] Kat: Which is another thing that we all need to make sure that we do. 

[00:22:18] Chelsea: Mm hmm. Your ministry is very specific to you. Yes. Your purpose in life is very specific to you as an individual, because the Bible says, In the womb I formed you, I knew you before you were formed in the womb. So what that says to me is, you were created, And came into existence very specifically you and not the next person over.

[00:22:42] Kat: Yeah. 

[00:22:42] Chelsea: If that's the case, then why would God ordain that all women had to be homemakers? If he created us all differently. Why would we all have the same purpose? Why would we all need to subscribe to the same standards of what that purpose is? It doesn't make sense. Not at all. [00:23:00] So, if you take scripture for what it is, then you see a bigger picture of especially like, what women are capable of.

[00:23:09] Chelsea: And of course, we're not saying that like, men aren't capable of things. We all know men are capable of things. This is why men can manifest so much quicker, because they have the power. been raised to believe that they are worthy, they are great, they deserve all the good things, they can do anything. We are raised to believe that we must submit to others opinions of us.

[00:23:30] Chelsea: We are raised to believe that we can't do anything without a man to support us. 

[00:23:34] Kat: It's true. 

[00:23:36] Chelsea: We are raised to believe that we should question our intuition because we have to trust the head of the household. Or we're too emotional. 

[00:23:44] Kat: Yes, 

[00:23:44] Chelsea: or we're too 

[00:23:45] Kat: emotional. And that emotions are bad. Don't get me started on that.

[00:23:49] Chelsea: Okay. Yes. Oh, there are so many rabbit trails we could run down right now. 

[00:23:54] Kat: Like your feelings are bad. Don't trust your feelings. 

[00:23:57] Chelsea: I feel 

[00:23:58] Kat: like I feel [00:24:00] like that's bad. We can't go 

[00:24:01] Chelsea: there, Chelsea. I feel like the rabbit in Alice in Wonderland and like hopping down the rabbit hole. Yes. There are so many. Because we're talking about like men manifesting quicker than women.

[00:24:12] Chelsea: And one of the guiding principles in manifestation is you have to be able to believe it. Knowing that it's yours, and this is where the Bible comes in, right? The Bible says, speak these things that as not as though they are, and they will come to pass. Yes. Meaning, the things that you don't see in your reality yet, all you have to do is speak them.

[00:24:32] Chelsea: Speak them. As if they're already there, and they will come into your reality. Meaning, you have the power of words. Yes. Because, dive down this one real quick. We'll just do it real fast, but it's gonna be a little eye opening for some people because it's something I've really thought about. Genesis says that we are made in God's image.

[00:24:48] Chelsea: It just doesn't make any freaking sense to me that we would be made aesthetically in his image because clearly we don't look the same. We look completely different. So we're not made aesthetically, visually in his image. 

[00:24:59] Kat: We are 

[00:24:59] Chelsea: [00:25:00] made to have, to be capable of what he is capable 

[00:25:04] Kat: of. He imbued 

[00:25:05] Chelsea: us with his power.

[00:25:06] Chelsea: He speaks things into existence. 

[00:25:08] Kat: And that is a theme that comes up multiple times in scripture that he has given us the same authority as he has. 

[00:25:16] Chelsea: Mm-hmm . So that's a thing. The authority to cast out demons. Yes. The authority to this, that, and the other. To raise the dead. To heal the sick, even if we're not talking, because I believe that there could be some metaphor to this, so like, not necessarily raising people from the dead, but it could be raising dreams from the dead.

[00:25:33] Chelsea: Mm-hmm . Casting out demons can be casting out the demons you face internally 

[00:25:38] Kat: and 

[00:25:39] Chelsea: you are capable of doing that for yourself. So, you have this power to speak things into existence, right? The issue, and in order to do that, you have to believe that it's possible. Bible says over and over, if you believe, you will see it.

[00:25:55] Chelsea: You must believe, believe, believe, believe, right? Men are raised to believe. [00:26:00] That they can do anything and that they deserve everything and that there's no failing in them. Whereas we are raised to believe, and this is where the problem is, in the Bible, women were given so much power. It's only the modern day church in, well, probably the last thousand years that takes that power from us.

[00:26:16] Chelsea: Eve was given the power, right? Yeah. Mary was given the power. Huh. We were all put on these positions, like, up on pedestals, and only now do we not believe in ourselves. We can't trust our emotion. We can't trust our intuition. Right. Because the problem is, if we trusted our emotion, our intuition, then we would believe what we are capable of.

[00:26:35] Chelsea: And when we believe what we are capable of, then we'll change the world. And the people in power don't want us to change the world. Right. I know. I said it. She said it. Just had a little drink to that. You want to take over from here? I think I've said enough. I don't know. I don't know if I can follow that, but.

[00:26:51] Kat: Oh my gosh, what were we going to go down the rabbit trail for? 

[00:26:54] Trusting Emotions and Intuition

[00:26:54] Kat: Okay, so trusting your emotions and your intuition and your feelings and that they're negative. What that taught [00:27:00] me for years is not to deal with my feelings and emotions. And so at some point I had this almost, I feel like I almost had a mental breakdown because I just shoved, kept shoving my feelings and emotions down because I thought they were bad.

[00:27:13] Kat: I thought that I was too emotional. Right? Because I've been Who hasn't been called too emotional? Right. Because I was told that feelings and emotions are bad, and you shouldn't trust your feelings and emotions. And while I 100 percent believe that sometimes our things that we feel might be invalid, I get that.

[00:27:30] Kat: But maybe not, because it's our perception of what, of the situation. And here's the thing, what you feel is never invalid. What you feel is valid. You may need to work through it to see if what you're feeling matches what actually happened. Happened, there, there you go. Okay, so, it is, it's your perception.

[00:27:48] Chelsea: So, what makes us unique are our experiences. It's the way we view the world. Two children can be raised in the same home and end up being drastically different [00:28:00] people in the way they process things that happen to them. So, it's nature and nurture, in my opinion. And so, your perception of things leads to you feeling a certain way.

[00:28:09] Chelsea: How you feel is valid. Mm 

[00:28:11] Kat: hmm. 

[00:28:12] Chelsea: Yeah. It just bears scrutiny by yourself and no one else. 

[00:28:17] Kat: Mm hmm. 

[00:28:18] Chelsea: So, scrutiny in terms of, okay, why do I feel that way? Is it because so and so happens to me? Is it because I am experiencing a trauma based response based on something I've been through? Would it be healthier for me to see this as a trauma based response and, and try to work through that?

[00:28:37] Chelsea: What I'm not saying is for someone else to tell you, you're not allowed to feel that way. Because, fuck that. Right. 

[00:28:45] Kat: And that's the issue that I, I feel like is being projected is that in the church is that your feelings and emotions are invalid and they're bad and you can't base, you shouldn't base decisions on your feelings and [00:29:00] emotions.

[00:29:00] Kat: It's as 

[00:29:00] Chelsea: if women can't be trusted to process something. Right. Honestly, our feelings and emotions tell us when something's wrong. 

[00:29:08] Kat: And 

[00:29:09] Chelsea: that's why people in power don't want us to trust them because we will start going, wait, hold on, but you said this, and this doesn't make sense. And are you lying to me?

[00:29:18] Chelsea: Are you controlling 

[00:29:20] Kat: me? Do I need to fill in the blank? Yep. Do it. Do 

[00:29:22] Chelsea: it. 

[00:29:22] Kat: Go. I've already said. 

[00:29:23] Confronting Gaslighting and Self-Trust

[00:29:23] Kat: What happened then is, you know, what do we call gaslighting? Again, invalidating your feelings and emotions, telling you that you're wrong. That, oh, that wasn't what happened. I was just joking. Or no, you know, you're being too sensitive.

[00:29:38] Chelsea: That right there, you're being too sensitive. No, I'm just sensitive enough. Right. I'm the amount of sensitive I need to be to the situation. And the energy surrounding me. Because here's the thing, whether or not how you feel makes sense logically, it is how you feel. Make the choice to dig into how you feel and why it's [00:30:00] making you feel that way.

[00:30:01] Chelsea: But when you do that, I guarantee you eight times out of ten, it's gonna be because you write. Think about every time I think about this, every time that I'm like, yeah, this is what's happening. No, that's crazy. Why would I think that? There's no reason for me to think that. There's no proof to that. There's no evidence.

[00:30:17] Chelsea: I'm getting crazy. I'm right. Every single time I'm right. And so you have to learn to trust yourself because when you do, you're going to dig yourself out of situations before you get into them that can be anti beneficial, the opposite of beneficial. What's the word? Detrimental. Detrimental. That's the word.